Ties That Bind
by Lola-Leexx
Summary: It's the Marauder's final year, and Lily and James are determined that this year will be different. James desperately wants to show Lily he is a different person, but Lily wants nothing to do with him. With this stalemate, how will they ever get together?
1. Chapter 1

**So this is my first ever fanfiction! Please be nice to me, I'll give you cookies! Please review and no flames! This fic will be going through Lily and James' final year of Hogwarts! What will they get up to? Read to find out!**

**Warning: there won't be much Peter because I don't like him! Why write about a character you don't like?**

* * *

Lily's POV

The scarlet steam engine was chugging away at the platform. Lily Evans stood by the barrier that opened on to platform nine and three quarters, savouring the atmosphere. This would be the last time she would be boarding the Hogwarts Express on the way to school, and she felt slightly sad about it. But she also felt happy; this year she knew would be different. This year she had added powers that would help her live her life just as she wanted. She had been made Head Girl.

She had changed into her robes already and pinned her shiny red badge onto the front of them. Her mum had been worried about her being seen in her billowing black robes, because she knew that the wizarding world had to be a secret, but Lily reassured her mother that she wouldn't be seen. There was no way that she was going to break a rule, and an important one at that. She had Apparated into a bathroom at King's Cross station, and then preformed a Disillusionment charm on herself. That way, she could walk to the barrier without being seen in her Hogwarts robes, but still didn't have to change on the train. Heaven knows she didn't want Potter and his friends spying on her getting dressed again.

As she thought of Potter, she smiled. This year, Potter wouldn't have a leg to stand on. She would be able to dock points and put him in detention if he so much as looked at her! The summer had been awful again; he had sent owls asking her out every week. Though at least it was an improvement on last year, she thought, that had been one every day! No, Potter's days of asking her out and pranking people for the hell of it were over.

'LILY!'

Lily was disrupted from her thoughts by someone squealing her name. She turned to see two people running towards her, and Lily broke out in a grin. Tossing her flaming red hair over her shoulder, she strode over to the running girls. They stopped running when they reached her and threw their arms around each other.

'Oh, I've missed you!'

These were two of Lily's friends and dorm-mates, Danni Carson and Tarragon Hodge. Danni was often considered the most beautiful girl in the school; she had long, blonde hair that waved as it got towards the end, and bright blue eyes that shone like sapphires, full lips and high cheekbones. She had all the boys chasing after her, and had been out with quite a few of them. She was the female equivalent of Sirius Black.

'Hi Danni,' Lily said with a smile. Despite her superficial nature, Lily had always liked Danni. 'How was your summer?'

'Oh, you know,' Danni replied. 'We went to the south of France, it was lovely.'

'How's Jackson?' Jackson Kennedy was a fellow seventh year, but in Ravenclaw. He was Danni's boyfriend.

'Oh, I dumped him last week,' Danni said. 'He kept on talking about Quidditch all the time. Like I cared! So I gave him the heave-ho.'

'Oh no,' Tarragon giggled and exchanged looks with Lily.

Tarragon was beautiful too, though not as much as Danni. She was the joker of their little group, and to Lily's annoyance she got on quite well with James and Sirius. She always said that Lily and James would make a great couple, though she tactfully refrained after Lily had just shouted at him and was really angry. Tarragon had brown, shoulder length hair and brown eyes that shone with mischief most of the time. Her most precious possession was her charm bracelet that Lily had never seen her without.

'Where are Mary and Celia?' Lily asked, looking about the platform.

Mary Macdonald and Celia Briggs were the other two girls that shared the dorm with Lily, Danni and Tarragon.

'Mary was just saying goodbye to her parents, and Celia's probably late, as usual!' Tarragon laughed.

'I have something to tell everyone when they get here,' Lily said. 'Something really exciting!'

'Ooh, what is it?' Danni squealed in excitement. 'Are you and James finally going out?'

'Oh my god, no!' Lily squealed, pretending to hit her friend. 'That'll never happen. No, it's something really great!'

'Oh, Lily you can't leave us in suspense like this!' Tarragon said. 'Please tell us!'

Lily smiled at her friend's excitement and decided she couldn't be cruel to them.

'I'm Head Girl!'

'Oh Lily, that's wonderful!' Danni said, and both she and Tarragon rushed forward to hug Lily again. 'How come you didn't tell us over the summer?'

'I wanted it to be a surprise. Do you realise what this means?'

'You're the most powerful student in the school?' Tarragon asked.

'You get to share a dorm with the Head Boy?' Danni said. 'Do you know who it is by the way?'

'No I don't, but they aren't the answers.' She looked round at her friends in disbelief that they didn't understand. 'Potter won't be able to harass me anymore!'

Danni laughed, and Tarragon grinned in a mischievous way. Lily knew what was coming and groaned.

'You know…' Tarragon began.

'No!' Lily said. 'I am not going to consider James Potter this year.'

'Aww, but you'd make such a sweet couple!' Tarragon protested. 'He's really grown up this past year, and he really likes you. Remember when he decorated the common room with that massive banner and all those lilies last year?'

'I know that was so sweet!' Danni said, swooning. 'If a guy did that for me, I'd definitely go out with him!'

'You go out with everyone, Danni,' Lily said with a laugh, and Tarragon giggled. 'And anyway, if you two think he's so great, why don't you go out with him?'

'I already did, remember?' Tarragon said. 'In fourth year, just after Christmas.'

Oh yes, Lily remembered now. For three, incredible weeks, she hadn't been pestered or asked out at all. It had been like a holiday.

'He was a perfect gentleman the entire time,' Tarragon was saying. 'But we both knew I was just a distraction from you. And anyway, we were better off as friends.'

'Why were you three all squealing a moment ago?'

The three girls turned round. Standing there was Mary McDonald, the fourth member of Lily's little gang.

'Hi Mary, did you have a good summer?' Lily asked.

'Never mind that,' Mary said, brushing Lily aside. 'What was all that fuss about?'

'Lily's been made Head Girl!'

There was another round of squealing as Mary congratulated Lily.

'Ooh, do you know who Head Boy is?' she asked once she'd calmed down.

'No,' Lily said. 'I expect it's Remus though. It's who I would pick if I was Dumbledore.'

Suddenly, the whistle blew, marking five minutes before the train left.

'Oh, lorks! Quick, let's get on the train! We can talk more in there. And where's Celia?' Tarragon said.

'We must have missed her,' Lily said as she grabbed her trunk, and with the help of Danni and Mary, dragged it towards the engine. 'She's probably on there already with her sister.'

They managed to get on to the train just as the doors closed for the final time. The corridor was thick with people entering their compartments, or else hanging out of the windows to talk to parents.

'Come on, let's find an empty compartment!' Mary shouted above the din.

'I can't,' Lily said. 'I've got to go and conduct the prefect meeting at the front. Would you be able to take my trunk and I'll come and find you later?'

'Of course,' Tarragon said. 'See you later!'

She, Mary and Danni walked away, taking Lily's trunk with them, while Lily herself turned and fought her way through the crowds to the front of the train, wondering just who she was going to meet as her opposite in that head's compartment.

* * *

**Well there we go. I hope you enjoyed it. What will her reaction be when she sees the identity of the new Head Boy? And where is Celia? Read more to find out!**


	2. Chapter 2

**This one's a bit shorter than the other, but I couldn't think what else to add! Please review my story and please no flames!**

* * *

_James' POV_

James and his friends, Sirius, Remus and Peter were all grouped on platform nine-and-three-quarters. They were contemplating boarding, but hadn't quite finished their discussion, so they waited.

'So, Mr Head Boy, sir,' Sirius said as he leaned against a pillar. 'You reckon the lovely Lily is going to be your opposite number? Imagine that,' he grinned. 'Sharing a dorm with her for an entire year. Oh, the possibilities!'

'Shut up, Padfoot,' James replied with a grin. 'And get your mind out of the gutter. It's got to be her, hasn't it? Who else would it be?'

'Emma Wandsworth?' Sirius said.

'Eurgh!' James squealed. 'Imagine having to share a dorm with her for an entire year! I think I'd hand back the badge, to be honest!'

'It's definitely Lily,' Peter piped up.

'What do you mean?' Sirius and James said simultaneously.

'I heard her talking to Danni and Tarragon when I came through the barrier. She's Head Girl.'

A wide grin spread over James' face. Sirius whooped.

'It's gonna be your year, Prongsie!'

Remus smiled too, though he had a little bit of apprehension.

'But she still doesn't like you, James,' he said. 'Remember what she said to you at the end of term last year? '_And don't even think about asking me out this summer, Potter, because it's not going to happen! It's not ever going to happen!' _Remember?'

'You're such a killjoy, Moony,' Sirius whined. 'James' grown up so much over the summer, he just has to show that to Lily and she'll be all over him. I know she likes him really, all this rejection stuff is just her denial.'

'You didn't write to her over the summer, did you Prongs?' Remus asked.

'Yeah I did,' James admitted. 'Not very much though, not like the last few years. Only once a week or so. Once every two weeks, perhaps.'

'Perhaps you should try something else, Remus said sagely.

'What do you mean?' James asked.

'Well, that particular line hasn't been working for years,' he said. 'You've been cocky and trying to impress her with all these stunts; flying arrows, banners, flowers, perhaps you should let it go a bit.'

'You mean give up?' James said hotly.

'No,' Remus replied calmly. 'Give her space to breathe and realise just how much she likes the attention you give her. Then she might be more accepting towards you. Try to be her friend, rather than a boyfriend.'

'That's not a half bad plan, Moony,' Sirius said with approval.

'Yeah, trouble is, I've only got a year,' James said.

'Yes, but you'll be spending it mostly together, won't you?' Remus pointed out. 'Plenty of time for her to notice 'the new James'.'

'Hmm,' James said. 'I think I might like this plan. How come you didn't mention it earlier?'

'I didn't think of it earlier,' Remus admitted. 'It was something Lily said in a letter over the summer; I asked her how her holiday was going, and she said it was nice to have some breathing space, and time to relax after the exams.'

'You've been writing to Lily?' James demanded, not quite liking the sound of this.

'She wrote to me, Prongs,' Remus said a little coolly, 'asking about some Arithmancy homework. Nothing more. You know we were Prefects together and sat together in that lesson. It's nothing more.'

'Sorry,' James said. 'It's a bit stressful. Bloody girls, eh?'

Suddenly, Sirius started laughing.

'What is it, Padfoot?' James asked in slight annoyance.

'Imagine the look on Evans' face when she sees you as Head Boy!' he laughed. 'Man I'd pay for a picture of that! You gotta tell us about it when you come back!'

'Oh, shut up,' James said.

At that moment, the whistle blew, and the four friends got onto the train. James took one last glance around the platform, trying to see if he could see Lily. He spotted her bright red hair at last, she was getting on into the next carriage along. He noticed she had already changed into her Hogwarts robes. Should he have done the same? Were Head Boys and Prefects supposed to do that? He looked around in a panic to see if any prefects he could see if they were in their robes. Then, he laughed as he remembered Remus, dressed in a casual pair of jeans and a t-shirt. He was worrying about nothing.

'Guys,' he said when they were safely on the train, 'I've got to go down to the Head's compartment, I'll see you later. Remus, I'll see you in a moment.'

They all bade him goodbye, and as he walked towards the front of the train, meandering past various other students, they walked back towards the middle to grab their usual compartment.

James finally found the compartment he was looking for (he had never been this far towards the front before), and was relieved to see that Lily wasn't there yet. He took a seat next to the window as the train began to chug away from the station and waited.


	3. Chapter 3

**God, i'm so sorry it's been so long. I sort of forgot about this, but i'm updating now, and hopefully there'll be regular updates from now on. Thanks guys! I hope you like it. Please review and no flames. My sister told me how to respond to reviews, so I'll do that from now on.**

* * *

As Lily walked down the train, squeezing past the last stragglers to find compartments, she wondered to herself who the new Head Boy could be. Before they had got on the train she had tried to see if she could see Remus, who would surely be changed into his robes and wearing his badge, the proper thing to do, if he was Head Boy, but she hadn't seen him.

Who could it be, she asked herself. She thought about the other prefects in her year. One from Ravenclaw, Danny Everidge, one from Hufflepuff, Colin Mulberry, and the Slytherin prefect she had never quite liked, the sly-faced Euan Parkinson. If it wasn't Remus, then the person she thought would be the best was Colin, the Hufflepuff. They had Herbology together and he always seemed like a nice guy. She didn't want it to be Euan. He and his gang of Slytherins had done something horrible to Mary once, and Lily couldn't quite forgive them. If he was prepared to break the rules like that, he shouldn't even be prefect, let alone Head Boy, but it wasn't just that that bothered her (though it did annoy her quite a bit – she couldn't stand people who broke rules. It was one of the reasons she hated James Potter so much!). He had been horrible to her friend, had allowed Dark Magic to be used on her, and Lily loved her friends, almost as much as her family.

She was thinking so hard that she had missed the entrance to the Prefect's compartment and had to turn back. When she located the right compartment, she wasn't surprised she'd passed it by. Sitting there, starting out of the window at the suburbs speeding past, was James Potter himself. She sighed and slid open the door.

'Potter, get out. This compartment is for Prefects and the Head Boy and Girl only,' she said. 'And if you think you're going to ask me out, I'll curse you so hard you'll fly out the window.'

James grinned and clutched his hand to his heart, as if wounded. 'Oh, you hurt me so, Evans. But I know full well what this compartment is, and judging by this letter, I'm definitely allowed to be here.'

He held out a parchment letter, and Lily leaned over and took it, her heart slowly filling with dread. Surely _James Potter_ couldn't be Head Boy!

But it was true, or, at least he had the letter from Dumbledore, asking him to be Head Boy, just as she had. Her mouth fell open in shock as she read through the letter.

_Dear Mr Potter,_

_I am delighted to inform you that the Professors and I have deliberated and decided that you are the right candidate for the position of Head Boy this year. We think that you are more than capable of fulfilling the role, and that you have the intelligence and strength of character to enable you to do so. Please find enclosed your badge, and your instructions from Professor McGonagall as to what to do on the Hogwarts Express, seeing as you were not Prefect._

_Hoping you are well,_

_Professor Dumbledore._

'This is insane,' Lily said after she had read the letter through several times in quick succession. 'This has got to be a fake, seriously. You can't be Head Boy!'

'Well, I am,' James replied, taking back the letter with a wink. 'I'm sure Professor Dumbledore will be happy to confirm it with you when we get back to school.'

Lily just stared at him.

'Oh, come on, Evans,' James said. 'It can't be that hard to believe. I've got the intelligence and strength of character to be able to be able to do this! Now, I think you mentioned something about a date?'

This shook Lily back to her senses.

'No, I most certainly did not!' she barked. 'I said that if you asked me out, I'd hex you into the middle of next week!'

'It was out of the window actually, but whose really keeping score?' James said with another of his winks that drove Lily mad.

'You are impossible!'

At that moment, the compartment door slid open, and several prefects from the lower years slid in. Each of them looked from Lily to James and either snorted in amusement, or gasped in shock. Lily felt like joining them. How on earth she was going to work, and even share a dormitory, with James Potter for the entire year? It'd be a nightmare!

'Well, doesn't look like we can discuss it here,' James said seriously. 'You'd better lead the meeting, Evans, McGonagall's letter didn't say much.'

With one last glowering look at James, Lily called the meeting to order.


	4. Chapter 4

**So here's another chapter to apologise for neglecting this for so long. I hope you like it! I was going to wait for a review before I put this one up, but I got it done really quickly and couldn't wait to post it! I hope you like it, and please, no flames.**

* * *

**_James' POV_**

'What the hell did you do that for?' Sirius was staring at James, his mouth aghast. Remus was just looking at him, shaking his head.

It was twenty minutes after the prefect's meeting, and James was sat in a compartment with his friends, and Remus had just told them about his conversation with Lily after everyone had gone. Unknown to him, Remus had been listening from outside the door.

'I don't know,' James said. 'I couldn't help it! It all sort of, came out!'

'It was bloody cringe-worthy,' Remus said. 'I was stood outside the compartment. What happened to the plan, Prongs?'

'It sort of fell through,' James said.

'You can say that again!' Sirius said with a laugh. 'That's also got to be the quickest time back from holidays you've asked her out in, ever. It had to be what, twenty minutes?'

'Ah, you're forgetting the time he sent that paper arrow with the note attached to it in forth year,' Peter said with a nervous laugh. 'That was on the platform! Technically before term has even started!'

'Oh, yeah, I forgot about that one!' Sirius said, bursting into laughter at the memory. 'Merlin, Prongs, you're so hopeless.'

James grinned half-heartedly. Suddenly, he could see that Sirius was right. He hadn't just been hopeless, he'd been a prat. He'd truly been the toe-rag Lily had been calling him practically every week since third year, and definitely deserving of the hexing she'd threatened him with today. But he just couldn't help it. Every time he went near her, his heart began to race and words just seemed to tumble out of his mouth and his arms and legs seemed to act independently from the rest of his body. He couldn't help being an arsehole when it came to her.

But he'd have to try harder, he realised that now. Remus' advice was right, he'd lay off it for a while and see where it got him. They'd be sharing a dormitory together this year, it was the perfect way to start. He didn't want to alienate her before term had even started.

'You okay, Prongs?' Remus asked, sounding slightly concerned. James jumped back into the world of the waking, to find Sirius and Peter rolling around in their seats, still laughing at something, probably another one of his failed attempts at asking out Lily.

'I'm fine,' James replied. 'Just, you know, been hit by realisation, and Merlin it hurts.'

'Why don't we go and pay them a visit?' Remus said.

'That's a great idea,' Sirius said at once, and in an instant he was out of his seat and leaping towards the compartment door. A little too enthusiastic, James thought to himself, and smiled knowingly. Who would it be this time?

'Who are we going to see?' Peter said, looking confused.

'Evans and the girls, of course!' Sirius said, rolling his eyes at Peter. 'Come on!'

With that, the stood up and left their compartment.

* * *

**_Lily's POV_**

'I can't believe it!'

Lily was back in the compartment her friends had managed to get while she was at the prefect's meeting. She still couldn't believe that James Potter was the Head Boy, but even more so that he hadn't tried to pull a ridiculous prank on someone while they were in the meeting. Occasionally, while she was talking (she had done most of the talking), she caught him grinning at Remus, who, as a prefect, was at the meeting, in a way that usually meant mischief was about to happen, but nothing had. It was almost a complete change of character.

She supposed it was too much to expect that he wouldn't ask her out, but to her annoyance, he had cornered her after the prefects had left (she decided it was a good example to set to let them all go first, as much as she had wanted to rush back to find her friends and get away from Potter).

'So, that date you mentioned, Evans,' he had said, a twinkle in his eye.

'No, Potter, that _you_ mentioned,' she had said huffily.

'Well, one of us had to, really,' he said.

'Potter, I am NOT going to go out with you!' she had screamed. 'Not now, not EVER!'

And with that, she stormed from the compartment, to flop down on a seat next to Danni and exclaim in the high-pitched voice she always had when she was angry, 'You wouldn't BELIEVE who is Head Boy!'

'We know,' Danni said with a bit of a grin on her face.

'It's James Potter,' said Tarragon, looking up from her magazine.

'How do you know?' Lily said in astonishment, looking from Tarragon, to Danni, to Mary.

'Sirius told us,' Danni said, her cheeks blushing a little. 'He came in with Remus and Peter to talk to us for a bit and he told us then.'

Lily stared around at them. She had never really worked out why her friends didn't see Potter and his gang as repulsive and horrible as she did, but she supposed that they'd never been on the receiving end of Potter's attentions. She shrugged the thought away.

'Anyway,' she said, 'Potter was a complete arse. All the way through the meeting he was grinning at Remus in that stupid way he does when he'd going to break rules or pull one of his stupid pranks.'

'You know, you should cut him a bit of slack,' Tarragon said slowly, folding up her magazine and putting it away.

'What?' Lily said, not quite believing her friend had just said that.

'Cut him a bit of slack, you know, let him off the hook a bit. Stop yelling at him every time he comes into your presence.'

'Every time he comes into my presence he's a toe-rag!' she said. 'Every time he asks me out, or comes out with some ridiculous line, or joke! It's enough to drive anyone up the wall!'

'I know he's a bit annoying, Tarragon said gently, 'but he's just nervous around you. You know he wrote to me over the summer to ask what the perfect gift would be for you.'

'What did you tell him?' Lily said, a little taken aback.

'I told him to keep out and let you alone,' Tarragon said. 'If he valued his manhood.'

The girls all giggled.

'But no, seriously,' she carried on, 'I think he might be different this year. That's not usual James, is it?'

'It was usual Potter when he asked me out _again_ in the prefect's compartment,' Lily said a little waspishly. On reflection, she sounded a little meaner than she had intended, but really, Tarragon should keep out of it. She didn't know what it was like, even though she meant well.

Tarragon shrugged. 'I'm just trying to say that he's not all that bad.'

'When he shows me he's changed, then I'll start believing it,' Lily said. 'As it is, he's still the same old git he's always been, and I'm definitely not changing my opinion of him.'

Just then, the compartment door slid open.

'Ooh, that's a bit harsh, Evans,' Sirius Black said as he stepped into the compartment.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Sorry about the wait! It's been busy! Here's the next chapter. HUGE thank you to MoonlitRainDrops and xokittykat5xo for reviewing, and to everyone else who has read, favourited or alerted!**_

* * *

Lily jumped up as the rest of the Marauders trooped into the compartment, which was getting a little cramped, and gave a shout of protest.

'What the hell are you all doing in here?'

'Just popped in for a chat,' Sirius said easily as he took a seat opposite Danni. 'Nothing to get so het up about, Evans.'

Lily turned her gaze to James, who seemed determined not to catch her eye, though he was looking a little sheepish. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Tarragon looking at her with a meaningful look, so, as much as she would have liked to order the boys out, she just sat down and sighed in a resigned way.

'So, everyone have a good summer?' Sirius asked, breaking the uneasy silence that had fallen on the group. It may have been a general question, but Lily noticed that he was looking at Danni when he spoke.

'Not bad, you know,' she replied, looking a little flushed, but pleased none the less.

'Where's Celia?' Remus asked, glancing quickly around the compartment.

'You know, I've been wondering that,' Lily said. 'Did you guys find her? She looked around at her friends.

Mary shook her head. 'We looked into the compartments we passed, but we didn't see her or Helen.' Helen was Celia's fourth year sister who was in Hufflepuff.

'We assumed we missed her in the crush,' Tarragon said. 'I thought she'd have come by to look for us by now.'

'I'll go have a look for her,' Mary said standing up. 'Anyone want to come with me?'

'I'll come,' Peter said after a moment's hesitation. He was blushing and looking at the floor, and Lily thought she had espied a nudge from Remus, who was sitting next to him. Mary raised an eyebrow at Peter's offer, and sent a glance at Lily, who returned the puzzled look, but she didn't say anything, and together, they left the compartment.

'I hope she hasn't missed the train,' Tarragon said, staring after them.

'I've always wondered what would happen if you did that,' James said, speaking for the first time. He had found Lily's gaze, finally, but she pointedly looked away from him.

'You need to get out more,' Sirius said with a smirk, and Danni burst into laughter. Sirius seemed to like this and grinned cheekily at her. She blushed.

'Oh, shut it, Padfoot,' James said. 'I think you need to get out _less_. Turning the lawn in front of the castle blue at the end of last year wasn't one of your best send-offs.'

'Hey!' Sirius shouted. 'That was an accident, you know it was!'

Danni burst out laughing, along with the rest of the group. Lily frowned, trying to hide a smile (after-all, McGonagall's face had been priceless, especially after Professor Dumbledore had commented that blue made a very nice change and that there should be more blue lawns around), but was unsuccessful. It had been hilarious. However, she could never show James Potter that she thought anything he or his friends did was funny. Especially not now she was Head Girl, and she tried to turn the smile into a yawn, but it was too late, James had already spotted her.

She glared at him, her red eyes flashing dangerously, daring him to say anything, but, thankfully, he remained silent. He knew what would happen if he teased her about it when she was looking that angry; he had been on the receiving end of the wrath of Lily Evans before, and didn't want to repeat it. He did give her a knowing smile, though, and Lily cursed herself internally. She was afraid she had given him new ammunition, and she sighed in frustration.

The afternoon passed sluggishly for Lily as the train sped northwards, the countryside outside the windows getting gradually wilder as they passed through the moors of Derbyshire and North Yorkshire, before taming again into the neat meadows and arable fields of the boarderlands. Lily always loved to watch as the countryside flew past, and gladly retreated from the conversation that was growing steadily rowdier in the compartment. Peter came back within twenty minutes to report that he had been feeling hungry and returned to catch the food trolley, but Lily rather suspected, from the flush on Peter's cheeks when Sirius and James began questioning him, that Mary had got irritated by his fumbling presence and sent him away to carry on the search without him.

It was not until well after noon that Mary came back.

'I couldn't find her,' she announced as she slid the door to the compartment open. 'Helen wasn't there either, I found some of her friends coming to look for us to see if Celia was with us.'

'That's odd,' Lily said with a frown.

'I bet they've both missed the train,' Danni said as she swallowed the last of a Chocolate Frog.

'It's unlike Helen, though,' Mary said. 'She's always the one ushering Celia around, making sure she doesn't forget her head. Perhaps they were just late.'

'Perhaps,' Lily said, although she wasn't reassured, and neither, she could tell, were her friends. She exchanged significant glances with Mary as she sat down opposite her and grabbed a Pumpkin Pasty, taking care, Lily noticed, to avoid looking at Peter.

A tight knot gripped Lily's stomach as she went back to staring out of the window. What if something had happened? Of course, she tried to tell herself, it was unlikely something had happened. The most likely explanation was that Celia had forgotten something essential, or had delayed her family in some way and they were unable to make it in time to the train. Her parents had probably Apparated with them straight away up to Hogwarts. They were there now, surely, waiting for everyone to arrive, laughing at Celia's forgetfulness, Helen shaking her head in a motherly way.

Darkness fell, and the girls ordered the boys from their compartment so they could change into their robes, and Lily half expected James to protest, to come up with some line that would have the others in fits of giggles, and leave her silently raging. But, to her surprise, he obeyed without a word, though he did try to catch her eye and grin. She ignored him. It was Sirius who actually made a play of wanting to stay behind, trying to conceal himself rather unsuccessfully behind his cloak, before Danni grabbed him by the arm and bodily threw him out of the door. He didn't seem to mind.

By the time Lily and her friends had finished changing, the boys had vanished, presumably going back to the compartment their trunks were in, the compartment they had spent so little time in during this journey. Lily pressed her face up against the cool window, her breath fogging up the glass. There were lights in the distance, the warm orange glow of the lanterns at Hogsmeade station. She smiled to herself, it felt like coming home. Somewhere behind the hill behind the tiny station building was the magnificent castle. Mist would be strewn lazily across the lake, and the whole scene would be illuminated by the comforting light from the castle windows.

The train slowed to a halt, and Lily heard the noise of the carriage doors being magically swung open, and the din of hundreds of students beginning to gather their luggage together in preparation for departure. Lily and her friends lugged their trunks off the racks they had been left on and, chattering excitedly, joined the throng of students in the corridor. From a few compartments back, she could hear Sirius shouting excitedly, and, unusually, James shouting at him to shut up and get a move on. Sighing to herself, Lily stepped out into the cool, fresh air, and was immediately buffeted by the press of students.

'Come on, this way!' Tarragon shouted, grabbing her hand to prevent them from being separated. Looming over the students at the end of the platform, surrounded by a nervous gaggle of eleven-year-olds, was Hagrid, the friendly school gamekeeper.

'Firs' years!' he was calling out into the chaos. 'Firs' years teh me! Tha's it, over here!'

Lily shot him a warm smile; she had always been fond of Hagrid and the care he showed to any animal. When he saw her, however, he frowned.

'Lily!' he called to her. 'I've a message from Professor McGonagall. Yeh and yeh friends are to take the firs' carriage and go straigh' up to the school. She's waiting to speak to yeh.'

'What's it about?' Lily asked him, but he merely shook his head.

'I can't say. Best get up there quick, though.'

There was something about his expression that made Lily's stomach plummet, and an icy cold grip took her heart. Something was wrong. She looked nervously at Tarragon, who shook her shoulders, and, finding Mary and Danni, the four of them got into the waiting carriage.

* * *

_**:O What's going to happen? Why is Lily so worried! Next chapter coming soon guys! Thanks for reading. I would really, really, REALLY love it if you left me a review telling me what you thought!**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter six! I'm having so much fun writing this, I've got loads of ideas for it! Thank you to everyone who read, alerted or favourited this story. It makes me so happy to think people are enjoying this. Oh, a quick note, I changed Stephania's name to Helen. My sister said that Stephania wasn't a very good name for a girl in the Marauder Era, so I changed it. If you spot anywhere in this chapter or other ones where I've called her Stephania, could you point it out please?**_

* * *

The ride up to the castle was silent, each girl preoccupied with their thoughts. As much as Lily tried to convince herself that this was just something normal, nothing sinister, she couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

And that something, she guessed, was to do with Celia. Why else would they all have been summoned? They couldn't all have timetable trouble, or problems with prefect duty, and if McGonagall had wanted to see her because of something to do with Head's duties, surely James would have had to come as well? Despite all this, she still felt a pang of irritation when she thought of him. How on earth would they get along this year? She would have to share a dormitory, as well! The Head Boy and Girl always did, a tradition that went back centuries, apparently, and was supposed to highlight the maturity of the girl and boy in question, as well as making their shared duties easier. She wouldn't put it past him to bore a peepy-hole into her bedroom wall so he could watch her. The thought made her shiver.

Soon, they arrived outside the gravel drive to the castle doors, and each girl got out, dragging her trunk, and in Mary and Danni's case, their owl cages with them. To their surprise, Professor McGonagall was waiting for them on the castle steps, a tartan-lined cloak wrapped around her shoulders to ward of the developing chill, and standing beside her was Professor Sprout, the Herbology teacher, her patched had clutched in her slightly trembling hands.

'Girls, please come with me,' she said as they climbed the steps. Lily tried to search her Head of House's expression, but to no avail. As always, the Transfiguration Professor's face was a blank mask, tight lipped and severe. But Lily was sure that there was something different, a look in her eyes that she couldn't place.

From behind her, there came a clattering of a carriage door being thrown open. Lily looked back down the driveway to where another horseless carriage had pulled out, and out of the door spilled five girls Lily recognised as fourth year Hufflepuff.

They were Helen's friends.

She glanced back around in horror, taking in Professor Sprout, whose expression had turned grave at the sight of these girls, who seemed to be in a flurry of youthful ignorance at what Lily had twigged was happening.

Something was wrong. Something to do with Celia.

Not looking at any of her friends, Lily followed Professor McGonagall into the warm Entrance Hall, and up the marble staircase. She glanced into the Great Hall with its hundreds of floating candles. Without the masses of students chattering away inside it, it looked odd and empty, the dark sky casting a bleak shadow over the four house tables.

Wordlessly, Professor McGonagall led the four, equally silent, girls to her office and ushered them inside. Once they were all in, she swung herself behind her desk and gestured them to sit.

'I'm sorry, girls,' she began in a voice that sounded pained. 'There was an incident this morning involving your friend, Miss Kelley. They were ambushed by as they left their house for King's Cross. I'm afraid there is no easy way to say this, but Celia's mother and her sister, Helen, were killed outright.'

There was a collective gasp of shock as each girl present was hit with the impact of those words.

'What's happened to Celia?' Danni croaked, staring at Professor McGonagall.

'Celia was taken to St Mungo's, along with her father,' Professor McGonagall said gently. 'They are both in critical conditions, but it is believed they will live. I have to say, girls, it is unlikely that Miss Kelley will return to school this year.'

Lily was reeling. Numbly, she thought of the Hufflepuff girls who had tumbled out of the carriage after them, how they would be hearing similar things now, but that their friend was dead.

'Who attacked them?' Mary asked. There were tears pouring down her cheeks.

Professor McGonagall stared at them for a long moment, before taking her spectacles off and cleaning them on a handkerchief from her pocket. It was only after she put them back on her nose that she spoke.

'The Ministry of Magic believe it was the Death Eaters who ambushed them. Mr Kelley is a senior member of the Department Magical Law Enforcement. He has written and enforced several laws that have proved problematic for the Death Eaters. He was probably their intended target.

'But they missed him,' Tarragon said bitterly. 'Why did they attack them all? They killed an innocent woman and her daughter!'

'They were trying to kill an innocent man,' Professor McGonagall said. 'Do you really think the Death Eaters will make such distinctions? They were ordered to kill, and they certainly do not care who gets in their way, even if it is two underage witches who pose them no threat.'

The girls were silent, tears slowly tracing their way down their cheeks. They had not known Mrs Kelley, but Helen was always a bright presence wherever the feather-headed Celia happened to be. Of all the people, Lily could simply not comprehend that she wasn't alive any more. That all her bubbly, vibrant life was gone. She would never come running up to Celia in the corridor bringing something her older sister had forgotten from home, or her share of sweets from their mother.

'Life isn't fair,' Danni said in a small voice.

'No, Miss Cartwright, it is not,' Professor McGonagall said firmly. 'And with You-Know-Who on the rise and his Death Eaters getting bolder every day, life is set to get considerably less fair. But we can't let these dark times bog us down. A terrible thing has happened, but surely that serves to remind us how short life can be and that we shouldn't waste time locking ourselves away when there is a life to be living. We have to be strong in times like these.'

'Miss Evans,' Professor McGonagall added, 'Professor Dumbledore feels that in light of these events, it is probably best if your first Head's meeting with him takes place tomorrow night instead of this evening. He will see you and Mr Potter at eight o'clock in his study. The password to the Head's dormitory is _Constantine. _If you could inform Mr Potter, please.'

Lily nodded, wiping a tear away from her eye.

'The Sorting Feast will begin shortly,' Professor McGonagall said. 'You should make your way to the Great Hall now.'

* * *

_**So, poor Celia! Thanks for reading this chapter, and please, please, please, PLEASE review! It would really make my day, I've only got four on here. The next chapter should come really soon, I've already got most of it written!**_


	7. Chapter 7

**_So here it is, guys! The next chapter! Sorry it's taken a bit of a while, I was really struggling with it and ended up scrapping everything I'd written so far and re-writing it from James' POV. Thank you so, so, so much to everyone who left reviews! Please review this chapter and tell me what you think!_**

* * *

_James' POV_

'Come on, you wouldn't even know I was here!'

James sighed in exasperation and pushed his way past his best friend, who was doing his best to try and remain in the compartment where the girls would be changing into their robes.

'I mean it, Sirius,' Danni was saying, 'Get out now.'

There may have been a frown on her face, but her eyes were smiling, James noticed.

'Padfoot, I'd leave now, if you know what's good for you,' he said with a rueful smile, taking the chance to glance at Lily. She wasn't looking at him. 'I wouldn't put it past these girls to hex you into the middle of next week.'

'Presicely, Potter,' Mary said. 'I take it you both value your testicles in their current position?'

Sirius winced, and his hands flew down to the crotch of his jeans, as if he was making sure that they hadn't already been cursed off. Everyone laughed.

'Okay, okay,' he said in resignation. 'I'm going. Don't want you unleashing your wrath on _them._'

He followed James out of the compartment and slid the door shut.

'We should probably do the same,' Remus said. 'We'll probably have to evict whoever's in the compartment we left our trunks in, though.'

'Oh yeah,' Sirius said as they set off down the corridor, which was thronged with the usual excited first and second years running up and down, giggling madly, and guys lingering outside compartments they had obviously been sharing with girls and had now left, like the Marauders, so the girls could change. 'Where _did_ we leave our stuff, anyway? I can't believe we were in there so long. It's all your fault, Potter.'

'Me?' James said as they reached a compartment that was empty, save for two tiny second year girls.

'You were the one who wanted to talk to Lily,' Sirius replied as the girls scuttled out of the compartment, shooting Sirius wide-eyed glances. 'And then practically didn't say a word all journey!'

'Yeah, well,' James said as he hoisted his trunk off the rack and pulled his school robes out. Why hadn't he made more of an effort to talk to Lily? She hadn't exactly been inviting conversation, though, staring resolutely out of the window for most of the train ride, pausing only to scowl at a crude comment or bit of banter. Still, he should have tried to talk to her about something, even if it was only Head's duties. His stomach leaped in his chest as he remembered that this year, he'd be sharing a dormitory with her. Surely, surely, this would be the chance that he was after, the chance to show her that he'd changed?

But, he cursed himself, he hadn't changed in her eyes, and considering his behaviour in the Prefect's compartment, he couldn't blame her. Suddenly, he felt ashamed. It must have been so frustrating for her, to have him acting like a complete arsehole all this time. Merlin knew how he got irritated with Sirius at times, when he wouldn't let something rest. She must have thought that this was the perfect opportunity for a fresh start, a decent end to her school career and the possibility of chucking him in detention a few times. But no, she'd been landed with him, just as she'd always been. He didn't blame her for reacting how she did.

Now was definitely the time to change. He wouldn't ask Lily Evans out again, he promised himself, not until he was confident her opinion of him had changed. He wouldn't give up on her, but he'd try a damn sight harder to win her over the hard way, the way he'd never tried before. By being her friend.

'You coming, Prongs?' Remus said, staring at him questioningly as he held the compartment door open. The train had come to a stop whilst he'd been daydreaming, James realised, and the train was emptying.

'Sorry,' he said, hauling his trunk up onto its wheels. 'Was miles away.'

Remus gave him a knowing smile, and James tried to avoid his eye. He didn't want another Lily centric discussion, or a reminder of what a prat he'd been to her. He therefore pushed past his friend, rather more forcefully than he should have done, and made his way outside, where he found Sirius on his tiptoes, straining his neck to see where Lily and her friends had got to.

'They can't be that far away, they were only one carriage down,' he was muttering to himself, and James smirked.

'Talking to yourself again, Padfoot?' he said as he came up behind Sirius. James laughed to see him jump. Fortunately for James, Sirius was interrupted in his reply by Peter.

'There they are!' Peter squeaked, pointing over the heads he could barely see over, towards where the carriages were waiting. James followed his arm, and saw a flash of red hair before it was swallowed by the darkness of the interior of the carriage. The door slammed and the carriage set off.

'Well, that was nice of them to wait,' Sirius said, shooting James a glare that plainly said he'd get his revenge another time. 'Come on.'

He led them through the crowds to the nearest carriage, and they all got in. When Peter had at last closed the door after shutting his robes in it first, they jolted off up the driveway to Hogwarts. It was chilly outside, and it was with warm relief that they traipsed up the front steps and into the Entrance Hall, where they were jostled by the moving press of bodies into the Great Hall.

'Where have they got to?' Sirius demanded as he looked up and down the Gryffindor table, but James wasn't listening. He'd heard something behind him, and whipped his head around.

It was the new Hufflepuff Prefect; a boy James remembered was called Gilbert Oliver, that he had heard speaking.

'...Sprout met them in the Entrance Hall... something to do with Helen Kelley... McGonagall was there too, for Celia's friends...'

'Shh!' he hissed to Sirius, who was rambling away about something petty. 'I've just heard someone say something about Celia's sister.'

'Who, Helen?' Sirius said, leaning in closer to catch James' whispered words.

'Mmm, said something about Sprout meeting someone in the Entrance Hall, and McGonagall being there for Celia's friends.'

'Doesn't sound too good,' Remus said from across the table. 'Do you reckon that's where Lily and Mary and that are? With Professor McGonagall?'

'Sounds like it,' James said. 'And no, it doesn't sound good.'

At that moment, the doors to the Great Hall opened, and in walked tiny Professor Flitwick, the Charms professor, carrying the customary Sorting Hat and stool that were almost as big as he was, followed by a gaggle of first years, all who seemed determined not to be at the front of the group.

James lost concentration as he watched student after student approach the stool and disappear under the hat. His eyes kept flicking to the door of the Great Hall, or along the Gryffindor table, though he knew Lily wasn't there.

Almost as soon as the final student had been sorted and the stool and the hat cleared away, the door of the Great Hall creaked open and three girls crept in, their eyes swollen and puffy. They made their way to the Hufflepuff table and sat among students James knew to be fourth years, exchanging muffled whispers and receiving shocked looks and hugs in return.

These girls were Helen's friends.

As soon as the food appeared on the plates, a wild chatter broke out, emanating from the Hufflepuff table.

'That's right, did you hear?'

'The Kelley girls, Celia's in Gryffindor...'

'Those girls who came in were Helen's friends...'

'I can't believe it!'

James caught snatches of rushed conversation that he tried to keep up with as he loaded his plate, but as he did so, the doors of the Great Hall opened for a second time, and in walked Lily and her friends. They looked like they'd been crying.

Beside him, Sirius waved, and the girls made their way over. James scooted along the bench, creating a space, but to his disappointment (not that he could blame her), Lily took the space next to Remus, and Tarragon sat down next to him. Sirius had made room for Danni, and Mary, after casting a glance at the space next to Peter that he had hurriedly created, sat down in the rather smaller space on Remus' other side.

'Is everything okay?' Sirius said as they sat down.

'We overheard Gilbert Oliver saying something about Helen, but we didn't quite catch everything,' James said, looking questioningly at the girls, but nobody seemed to want to speak.

'They were attacked,' Danni said, finally. 'Celia and her dad are okay, they're in St Mungo's. But...' at this point her eyes welled with tears, and she couldn't go on.

'Helen and their mother were killed,' Mary finished in a small voice.

James gasped in shock while Sirius laid his hand on Danni's arm before enveloping her in a hug, raising his hand to brush away her tears.

'That's terrible,' Remus said. 'What happened? Who attacked them?'

'Death Eaters,' Lily said, speaking up for the first time. James noticed her voice was cracked with emotion. He so wanted to reach out and comfort her, as Sirius was doing for Danni, but he knew the likely reaction he'd receive.

'The scum,' Sirius said vehemently as he stroked Danni's hair. 'Poor Celia.'

'I can't believe it,' James said, glancing again over at the Hufflepuff table, where the girls who had arrived shortly after the Sorting Ceremony were sat, tears in their eyes, their housemates gathered around them in comforting protection.

'Is Celia okay?' James asked.

'Professor McGonagall said that she was in a critical condition, but that she should be okay,' Mary told him. 'She's probably not going to come back to Hogwarts.'

Nobody ate much after that, and the feast passed quietly. After what seemed like an age, the last of the puddings cleared, and Dumbledore stood up and cleared his throat.

'You may have heard smatterings of gossip concerning two students,' he said, his clear blue eyes surveying the hall dolorously. 'It is with a heavy heart that I now inform you that earlier this morning, Helen Kelley of Hufflepuff House was killed along with her mother as they left their home, in what the Ministry of Magic tells me was a Death Eater attack. Her sister, Celia, who is in Gryffindor, is currently in St Mungo's, as is her father. They will hopefully make a full recovery.'

He paused here as his words were taken in by students around the hall, some of whom leant in to converse rapidly with their neighbours. Others were still simply staring at their headmaster in disbelief.

'Helen was an incredibly kind and bright student, and had much to offer her friends, her house and her future. Sadly, at the malice of the so-called Death Eaters, this has all been taken away. I would ask you now to raise your glasses to Helen Kelley, and remember her.'

As James raised and drained his goblet, he couldn't help but look at Lily. Her eyes were red, but she wasn't crying.

'Professor McGonagall told me to let you know that we won't be having our meeting with Dumbledore this evening,' Lily said across the table once they had all been dismissed. 'We're going to have it tomorrow instead, at eight. I hope that's okay.'

'That's fine,' James said, grinning at her in what he hoped was a non-creep-about-to-ask-her-out way. 'How do we get to know the password, though?'

'McGonagall gave it to me,' she replied as they accompanied their friends out of the Great Hall. She glanced around her to check that nobody was listening before she leaned in close to him. James took a sharp intake of breath as he felt her warm breath on his face. 'The password's _Constantine_.'

The girls walked slightly ahead of the Marauders, their heads together. Tarragon and Danni had their arms around each other. James was sure that they were talking about Celia, and even Sirius had enough tact to leave them alone. However, on the fifth floor, James and Lily peeled themselves away from their friends, bidding them goodnight, and proceeded to walk, in silence, to their new dormitory.

James wished he could think of something to say, but was drawing up blanks, aside from the usual cocky drivel he usually spouted when he talked to her. He was seriously resisting the temptation to nervously ruffle up his hair. She hated that. Eventually, they reached a portrait of a stately looking warlock with a broomstick, and Lily gave the password.

As she entered the room, she gave a sharp intake of breath, and once he had joined her in the room, James felt like doing the same. It was an incredibly handsome room with an ornate fireplace built into the wall opposite the door, a fire crackling merrily in the grate. To the right and left were doors opposite each other that presumably lead to the bedrooms. They were exquisitely carved with the Hogwarts crest, James noticed. In the room they had entered was a large, green sofa that stood facing the fire, and a desk on one side, a bookshelf on the other, leaning against the wall. On the either side of the fireplace were two large Gryffindor banners.

'I suppose they change according to the house of the Heads,' James said, breaking the silence.

Lily nodded wordlessly, crossing the room to peer into one of the bedrooms. 'This one's yours,' she called, and James went to join her. It was indeed his, as his trunk and other personal items were placed around the room. The bed was something else. It was a vast, canopied tester bed with an embroidered coverlet and what looked like a feather mattress. James thought it was well worth becoming Head Boy just to use this room. He came back out and closed the door to find that Lily was inspecting her own room.

'Are you going to bed now, or...' he trailed off as she came back out of her bedroom. He didn't know what to say. Somehow, he wanted to apologise, to offer to start again, but he didn't know how to phrase it.

'Oh,' she said, avoiding his gaze. 'I was going to sit here a while, actually. I'm not really tired yet...' she trailed off, but her tone made it quite clear to James that she'd be sitting alone.

'Right,' he said. ''Night then.'

''Night,' Lily replied, giving him a ghost of a smile as she settled herself on the sofa. James turned ruefully away from her and began to walk towards his new bedroom, but he had barely reached the door when there came a strange noise from behind him. He turned around, and saw Lily, her head in her arms, her body shaking with sobs.

'Hey.' James crossed back to her and was sat beside her in an instant. 'Don't cry.'

It was pathetic, but he honestly had no idea what to say. He longed to take her into his arms and comfort her, but, as he had thought in the Great Hall, that would definitely exacerbate things.

'I'm sorry,' she said thickly, her head still on her arms. 'It's just, I can't believe what's happened! We were just sat there today on the train, laughing away without a care in the world! Laughing while Celia was getting attacked and her mother and Helen getting killed!'

'We had no way of knowing that,' James said in what he hoped was a reassuring voice. 'We shouldn't feel guilty for something we have no control over.'

'I know, but I just feel so bad for Celia. And her poor mother. And Helen! I can't believe it's happened!'

'I know it's bad now,' James said, 'but you've got to look on the bright side when these things happen. Celia's okay, remember? She's going to be all right. It's horrible that Helen and Mrs Kelley are dead, but I doubt Helen would want you to be this upset.'

Lily gave a sniff and raised her head, her beautiful face was red and her eyes swollen, but she didn't meet James' eye. Instead, she stared into the flames.

'I never thought this would happen to anyone I knew,' she said in a calm voice. 'It all seemed so far away, all the stuff that's been happening outside. I've either been in school, hearing gossip about what's happening, or at home, in the Muggle world. It all seems so real now.' Her eyes flicked sideways, and for a moment, they locked onto James'.

'I know how that feels,' he said quietly, his heart skipping a beat as she looked at him, and sinking when she looked back at the fire. 'You never think something is going to happen to you, or people you know. And so when it does come, it hits you like a train.'

He reached out his hand and put it gently on her shoulder. For a moment, she moved her hand as if to place it on top of his, but then she stiffened.

'I'm sorry for this,' she said quickly and in her usual, brusque tone she reserved for him. It felt like a draft had entered the room and swept away the calm, quiet atmosphere that had been here before, an atmosphere that James felt Lily didn't irrevocably hate him. He withdrew his hand, his heart heavy as she got up and wordlessly and without a backward glance, went into her bedroom.

* * *

_**Ooh, so what happened there? Poor James, I do feel a bit sorry for him. Please leave a review and let me know what you think!**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**So here's the next chapter, I hope you like it! Sorry about the wait guys, school is BUGGING ME! Mega thanks to everyone who has reviewed, alerted, favourited and read this story!**_

* * *

The next morning, James went out early into the shared Head's common room to find it deserted. If he was honest with himself, he hadn't really expected Lily to be their waiting for him, so he crossed the room to her bedroom door and knocked on it lightly with his knuckles. There was no reply.

He knocked again, a little harder. 'Err, Evans?' he said, his head leaning on the polished wood of the door. 'Lily?'

Again, there was no reply. It was unlike Lily to sleep in late, or be late for anything, come to that, so James concluded that she must have gone down to breakfast already. He glanced at his watch; quarter past eight, it read. He had arranged to meet his friends at half past in the Great Hall; he supposed it wouldn't hurt if he was there a little earlier. It might give him a chance to talk to Lily.

As he left the dormitory, giving it an appraising smile and thinking of just how jealous the others would be of the room, he thought about the conversation he'd had with Lily last night. She had never been like that with him before, had never been so unguarded. He had finally got to see something of her weaknesses, something that moved her to an emotion other than anger, and the fault had not been himself. She was upset, and rightly so, given what had happened. He hoped that she had been okay during the night. He hated the thought of her lying in bed, crying silently to herself. Nobody should ever have to face that.

_I never thought this would happen to anyone I knew..._

Her words floated through his head, and he felt the usual stab of anger, but then realised he hadn't felt it last night, he had been too busy comforting her.

_I know how that feels, _he had said. Oh, he knew, all right. He swelled with anger every time he remembered that day at the beginning of the holidays.

_It had been shortly after Sirius had come for his belongings. His favourite uncle, Alphard, had died during their school year and left his nephew a fair bit of gold, so Sirius had insisted, after buying himself a brilliant, red motorbike, that he get somewhere else to live, rather than intruding on Mr and Mrs Potter any longer. They had tried to beat him down, of course, they were never anything but loving and polite to the boy they saw almost as a second son, but Sirius had been adamant. _

_So he had bought himself a flat in London, a decent sized yet rather ramshackle place with lurid, floral wallpaper that had been yellowed by years of tobacco smoke, and, with James' help, moved his belongings in. James and Remus had spent the first few days there, helping Sirius get organised, but on the third day, James Apparated home._

_He knew something was wrong as soon as he appeared on the pathway to the back door. There was an eerie sort of silence, even the birds seemed to have stopped twittering, and then he saw the door. It was hanging off by one hinge, and looked like it had been forced inwards. Pulling his wand out of his pocket, he sprinted inside, yelling, 'Mum? Dad?'_

_His heart beating fast and wondering what on earth was happening, James had entered the library, to find his mother sitting in one of the leather bound chairs in the middle of the room, looking terrified, her eyelids fluttering madly, and his father standing guard over her. Opposite them, near one of the bookshelves, was a group of four men James didn't recognise, though they were all dressed in the same flowing black robes. Two of them wore large hoods, draped menacingly over their eyes, while the other two appeared to have dispensed with them. As James burst into the room, they all wheeled around and pointed their wands in his face._

'_Don't move, sonny Jim, or we'll strike!' one of the men shouted. Now he had spoken, James recognised who it was. Bartholomew Knott. James had met him years before when his father had taken him to the Ministry. What was he doing here? _

'_What's going on?' James had demanded, keeping his wand pointed at the group of men, who seemed to find this amusing._

'_James, don't move!' his father said to him, sternly. He also had his wand raised at the men. James noticed a pile of books on the floor, and a large scorch mark on one of the bookshelves where the books on the floor appeared to have come from. Someone had fired a spell._

'_Tell me you'll think about it, Potter,' Bartholomew Knott said, turning his attention back to James' father. _

'_I don't need to think about it, Knott,' Mr Potter spat. 'I'll never join you, you sick bunch of thugs!'_

_Mr Knott's eyes flashed with anger, and before James could do anything other than cry out, his father had been blasted across the room, and Mr Knott was advancing menacingly on James' mother, who was still slumped in the chair, but seemed to be conscious. _

'_People who defy the Dark Lord often find they have made a very terrible enemy, Potter!' Knott shouted, pointing his wand at Mrs Potter. 'Are you sure you don't want to reconsider? Perhaps I should give you some incentive? Crucio!'_

_James' mother gave a blood-curdling yell and she fell in a heap from her chair and began writing on the floor._

'_NO!' James yelled, and did the first thing that came into his mind. Forgetting his wand completely, he launched himself at Knott, and they collided painfully, sending Knott flying into the bookshelf._

'_Why, you little-' But he didn't have time to finish his sentence as James drew back his fist and sank it into Knott's mouth. Suddenly, James was blasted back and landed painfully on the floor, ten feet away. The other hoodless man stood with his wand raised at him. His face looked worried._

'_We should get out of here, Knott,' he said. 'Our instructions were not to harm them...'_

_Knott grunted and hauled himself to his feet, spitting blood out as he did so._

'_You'll live to regret this, Potter!' he shouted at James' father, who was struggling to get up. 'Those who defy the Dark Lord get their comeuppance soon enough! You've gone an made yourself a powerful enemy.'_

_He leered around at them all, before the four men Disapparated._

Oh, he knew all right. He knew what it was like to have been completely innocent, and to have that innocence shattered. Never again would he assume that the war wouldn't touch him, and neither, it seemed would Lily. He didn't know which way was worse; being told that your friend had been attacked and half her family murdered, or seeing your mother tortured in front of you because your father had refused to join the Death Eaters.

He sighed, and tried to put the memory from his mind. Getting angry about it wouldn't change anything. Things like this were bound to happen now, they already had. He couldn't use it as an excuse. He could use his experience to comfort others, like Lily.

He had reached the marble staircase now, surprised; his feet appeared to have carried him naturally here because he certainly hadn't been paying attention to where he was headed. Grinning a little, his mind went to how Lily had looked at him the previous night, and how he was sure she had nearly put her hand on top of his. Then, he remembered how she had stiffened, as if she was remembering who this was, whose hand was on her shoulder, and she had walked off. He sighed.

'Oi, Prongs!' he turned around and grinned as he saw the Marauders walking towards him, accompanied by Danni, Tarragon and Mary.

'How was the first night as Mr Head Boy?' Sirius said as they reached him. The girls gave him small smiles, and continued down the stairs, presumably they wanted to find Lily and see if she was okay. 'Get anywhere with the lovely Lily?'

'It was good,' James said, ignoring the last question deliberately. 'Honestly, wait until you see the room. It's amazing.'

'How was Lily?' Remus asked, his head cocked to one side.

'She was okay,' James said quietly. He was wondering whether to tell the Marauders what had happened, even though it made him feel useless. He looked around at them all, and saw their expectant grins, and he realised just how much they meant to him. He made his mind up.

'She was a bit upset, so I sort of comforted her,' he said, looking mainly at Remus and trying to ignore Sirius, who would surely turn this into a lewd situation.

'What did she do?'

'Well, it was going all right at first. We were talking, properly. And then I put my hand on her shoulder.'

'Haha!' Sirius shrieked. 'Oh, Merlin, Prongs. You're useless. It's getting to the point when putting a hand on her shoulder is a good thing!'

James ignored him. 'She didn't throw it off. She looked at me, and for a moment I thought she was going to do something, going to put her hand on mine. But then she sat up and went to bed without another word,' he finished miserably.

'It's an improvement, I suppose,' Remus said thoughtfully.

'Yeah, at least she didn't yell at you!' Peter squeaked.

'But what am I going to do if she keeps closing up like that every time I try to talk to her?' James said in exasperation. 'I'm pretty sure she was only talking to me because she was upset and there was nobody else. It was me who happened to be there, she would have done the same with any of you, perhaps she would have even held your hand! How am I supposed to be friends with her when the moment I think I'm getting close, she walks away?'

'Why don't you ask her?' Remus said.

'What?' James was slightly taken aback.

'Ask her,' Remus repeated. 'Ask her if you can be friends. Then she knows plain and simple what you want. She's not going to try to guess why you're doing these nice things, whether there's an ulterior motive. Ask her to start over.'

'That's actually a good idea,' Sirius said thoughtfully.

James was silent. It _was _a good idea. She would definitely know then, that he wasn't trying to be sleazy or ask her out. He just wanted to be friends. Well, he wanted more than that, but by being friends with her first, by showing he could speak to her without asking her out was a step in the right direction. It was no different from his plan on the train. Except this time, she would know about it.

'I'll do that, I'll ask her,' James said finally. 'I'll do it today.'


End file.
